Friday, August 2, 2013

I Miss You Mom ~ 5 Years Ago Today

OH Gosh~ Hi Momma.  You've been gone 5 years today.  It feels like a million days, and more.  Kates sent me a sweet text and called.  She misses you~ probabaly as much as I do.  What a beautiful legacy you left my baby girl.  She is so much like you.  Pretty little packages, tender little notes, a posey here, and a sweet pillow there... Not a day passes without seeing or touching something that reminds me of you~  My heart aches mightily some days just trying to beliee I won't see you again, ever, at least here.  Wood said, Ohhhhhhhhh Mere.  He misses you too, mightily.  You were his Mom~  I wish you had told me how hard this would be...  you told me almost everything else, but not this...  I keep waiting to get use to it, keep waiting for my perspective to change, to exalt fully in the life you had, the life we shared, and accept fully your presence in my heart and memories.  Some days I feel it, some days I think I'll get it, that the change will happen~but most days I just don't, maybe I can't, or won't.  Maybe, just maybe, I'm not suppose to.  Maybe it's suppose to be this way, just the way it is.  I think that's it.  I am to accept just where I am today, not questioning, not trying to push or expect, just to be, exactly where I am.  I love you Momma, I miss you more~  Thank you for helping me understand~thank you for listening.

Your Eldest Daughter :)

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